In case you haven't noticed, not every app in the Android Marketplace is especially helpful. While you may occasionally come upon an app that fills a void in your life, many other downloads end up being so impractical that it make you wonder why they even exist in the first place. Whether an application is completely useless, hilariously random, kind of awkward, or even slightly disturbing, they all seem to beg the question "Is this app for real?" Sometimes, these apps are so ridiculous that they're entertaining. Here are a handful of Android Apps that fall under that same category.
The Turd Translator (Free)
The Turd Translator is a guide to what your poop's color says about you. After you have taken a moment to study and determine the color of your poo, select your particular color of the rainbow from a drop down menu: Bright Red, Orange, Yellow, Dark Green, Gray, Light Brown, Black, are just some of the available choices. The app then provides you with a quick medical explanation on why your turds are the way they are and suggests when you should consider speaking with a doctor. It may be useful once in awhile, if you're really curious about what your green poo means (I guess), but it's definitely a weird one to have to explain to the person who accidentally spots it when you're thumbing through your app library.
Angel Cat Live Wall Paper ($0.99)
This is an ideal app for those who don't have quite enough kitsch decorations in their lives (or on their lawn.) This cat has a halo and angel wings and sits atop a white pillar in the sky. Animation makes the cat glimmer and sparkle and its eyes open and close. The whole moving picture is trimmed by a gold and sapphire frame.Your grandma may say it's precious, I say it's a little bit creepy (Tomato, tomato, I suppose).
Now, my gut tells me that a baptism, regardless of religion, involves water of some kind and that it's probably not a simple as waving a phone over someone else's head and pushing a button. With Baptizer, however, which supports Buddhism, Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Hinduism, Islam Judaism and Protestantism, it apparently is that simple. Just don't move the phone too much while a "ceremony" is in process. Baptizer's description notes that it is possible to baptize people and pets against their will. "We have trust in you," it reads. "Do not abuse the power this app grants you."
If Facebook party pics have taught us anything (other than the fact that they're a quick way to get your job application tossed into the trash) it's that drinking makes you look cool. Good thing you spent $2.99 on an app that allows you to pretend you're drinking any time, anywhere. Meant to resemble a cup of beer, your screen will "fill up" with liquid that has the same consistency and color as either an amber, Hefeweizen, lite, stout or lager beer. Tilt the phone downwards to "drink" and the "beer" will bubble and leave a foamy residue when your screen becomes "empty." This gag is only cute for about a second and, chances are, it probably won't make you look especially cool.
Justin Bieber Reflextion (Free)
Even though it's spelled incorrectly, when one sees the word "reflextion," its probably safe to assume that this app is designed to facilitate some kind of introspection activity. Even when you launch the app, the menu describes the application as being a "complicated reflextion analysis." But, read the instructions and you'll see that and you are directed to simply tap the screen so that a photo of Justin Bieber pops up--and that's all that this app does. Am I missing something here?