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Moron Test 2 is like the exam that looks to fail you

by Michael Ian

Having experienced the original, I knew full well the true nature of this game. I approached The Moron Test 2 confident enough, yet still cautious. A minute into the game however, I found myself already failing the initial challenge. In bold red letters the word “FAIL!” fills the entire screen with a silhouette of a snail. This game was clearly designed to pull some nerves. That’s okay though, it didn’t bruise my ego... much. Treading more carefully this time, I re-read the instructions: Touch the tallest character who can ride (the roller coaster). Among the choices given was a turtle, bumble bee, giraffe, a monkey and a ladybug. The most obvious choice is the giraffe right? “FAIL!” Fine, alright, alright... let me just press retry one more time and choose something else – “FAIL!”

Despite the title, The Moron Test 2 doesn’t actually comment on your intellectual level. You’ll find your observation skills, patience, short-term memory and quick reactions stretched thin as the game cleverly traps you into failing. To put it simply, it’s like participating in a spelling bee and being given an unfamiliar word. You’ll mull it over for a few minutes until you’re sure you’ve chosen the right letters, then discover no such word actually exists. Then you're disqualified and everyone in the room proceeds to yell “FAIL!”

To actually “pass” the tests, players will have to carefully navigate through a series of wordplay. Every question should be approached with skepticism; at times they should be taken literally or with a pinch of salt. Nevertheless, the game still managed to catch me off guard. I found myself spewing a number of words that if heard, my ol’ granny would trade her bar of soap for a a bit of OxiClean.

As clever as The Moron Test 2 is, it suffers from one weakness that all exams share: memorization. Like a cheat sheet, once you know the answer, it’s easy to breeze through the game and set higher scores. Still, if you subscribe to the old playground chant of rubber band and glue you might want to give game a try.

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