Beautiful looking...but about as fun as watching paint dry
- Posted by balzzzy April 05, 2011
Dungeon Defenders marries the Tower Defense and RPG genres with some of the most incredible graphics I have ever seen released on Android. While I'm not really into Tower Defense games, I absolutely love a good RPG game. I watched a couple of YouTube videos and I noticed that there was a price reduction to FREE.
So I thought why not try this one out, what did I have to lose? Well, I'll tell you what I lost...30 minutes of my life that I will never get back.
THE INSTALL AND SETUP
The game took at least 15 minutes to fully install itself. I waited for the menus to load; at one point I thought it had frozen my device and I hadn't even started playing. You then pick one of four character classes based on difficulty settings. Interesting setup for an RPG where your class is based on difficulty. Finally you can play the game, but don't hold your breath...
THE GAME
Some dude starts talking to you as you're trying to read the text boxes that constantly pop-up and never go away for 5 minutes. Your view of the screen is littered with icons, bars and buttons. You realize quickly that in order to move you have to slide your finger across the ENTIRE screen. This causes you to further block your own view with your thumb...huh? Oh look I have a level up available (but I didn't earn any experience), let's go check out the menus. MORE TEXT BOXES BLOCK YOUR VIEW. When will this guy stop talking and where is the 'X' to close those damn pop-ups? There isn't one...ugh. I'll just wait for some paint to dry until those pop-ups stop. *moments later*
OK, so I'm confused, let's watch the 'How To Play' video. Maybe I can press the screen to skip the introductions...nope. I just closed the video. Let's re-open it and try again. *minutes later* Is it done yet? Nope, I might as well take a nap. *yawn*
VERDICT
Based on what I watched I realized VERY quickly that this breaks the number one rule of video gaming...which is to have fun. This isn't fun, it's a chore. I could have more fun doing laundry than playing this game. The main screen is cluttered, the controls are terrible and it all just looks like a beautiful mess. This game is such a disappointment that I don't even classify it as a game.
A paperweight on paper is what this game is on my device. Trust me, I've already done the guinea pig thing for you; move on to something else. I even feel like me writing this review for you to read has been three minutes wasted of your life. But I'm saving you 30 minutes in the end so it works out.
